Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize