I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
