you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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