I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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