Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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