I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
