dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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