it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don't deserve a penis
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
