i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
