You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
