I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
