Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
