i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I cut my penus on the lid.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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