What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
