Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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