So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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