I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
