Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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