Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
