when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
