It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
