i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
