naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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