508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
