Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize