why didn't you poke me back
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
