You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
