At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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