What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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