My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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