So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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