Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
