Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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