eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
