No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
