i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
ugly people sure do ruin things
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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