Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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