I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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