Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
