I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
