Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize