I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
