She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
