drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
