Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
