How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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