thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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