So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
