The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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