Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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