Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
