That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
