It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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