I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
whose parrot is this?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize