Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
