hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
