She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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