i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
