your room smells of hookers.
And success
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
