She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
