She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize