hell yes lets make some ravioli
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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