Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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