I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
