No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
