You made me cry and you don't even care
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
