At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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