He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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