Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
