perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize