Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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