hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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