Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
