We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
