Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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