But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
