I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
