we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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