This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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