I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
