The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
