You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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