Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
