u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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